not a child prodigy

scratchy carpet rubs my shins

shoulder to shoulder with kindergarten classmates

internal anxiety

trying to listen to what teacher says

mind drifts to last month

a weekend performing solo for audiences, 

i ran off the stage mid-song.

now i’m back in school like nothing happened

what if i can’t live up to expectations of me? 

oh no please don’t cough on me

i bite my nails

red lines around each appear

until 10 bloody nailbeds

teacher notices, bandages

later i repeat kindergarten at a private school

finish all my reading words first from the class

i couldn’t forget

i had to be smart to survive