<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Bandana Philosophy ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Poetry and creative writing by Sophia Surti on identity, nature, healing, and disability.]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/blog</link><generator>RSS for Node</generator><lastBuildDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2026 23:31:18 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/blog-feed.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title><![CDATA[the artist]]></title><description><![CDATA[*unfortunately and ironically, the formatting does not work for "the artist" on mobile because my curve is too big. please check out the pdf for "the artist" in its original format :)* the artist       cotton gown,           crunchy paper  covering hair,                 i laugh myself to sleep,                     now surgical clay.                       while mind sleeps,                           does body remember?                                          recollections appear               ...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/the-artist</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7103a32155f73d8804c273</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 18 Aug 2026 01:23:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_f73da8196a2440e2ba3eeeddc02ad7ba~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[august 17, 2016]]></title><description><![CDATA[beep, beep.  BEEEEP.  Eyes blink open  to see nurses and parents above me, handing me an orange popsicle. I savor it, smile GRATEFUL to be alive. Nearly unbearable to speak, I cough out frog-like "hello" Can I still sing?  Melting popsicle in sticky hand,  electrical wires who knows where,  nose plugged with oxygen cannulae,  a big inhale through my mouth,  I croak out pieces of Puccini’s Tosca: Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore!  I lived for art! I lived for love! I am opera diva Maria Callas...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/august-17-2016</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710cc0db6c19f1c2b9d919</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 17 Aug 2026 01:51:10 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_eea84518884e4760b94982e6ca73361e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_640,h_320,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[crooked]]></title><description><![CDATA[look at the modern medical definition of  idiopathic scoliosis*:  “spinal curvature with unknown cause” then break down the Greek and Latin etymology: idio- from idios: “one’s own or private” -path: “experience, undergo, suffer” skoliós-: “bent, crooked, askew, or devious” -osis: “a condition”. put those roots together and see  what idiopathic scoliosis actually means: “a crooked condition suffered on one’s own” why do we use these words to describe a childhood illness?  why do we imply our...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/i-am-not-wicked</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a71083874653e170f8c3abf</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Sat, 15 Aug 2026 21:33:32 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_0d24c5ba3a4046a6b6be60dbd7f1e944~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[not a child prodigy]]></title><description><![CDATA[scratchy carpet rubs my shins shoulder to shoulder with kindergarten classmates internal anxiety trying to listen to what teacher says mind drifts to last month a weekend performing solo for audiences,  i ran off the stage mid-song. now i’m back in school like nothing happened what if i can’t live up to expectations of me?  oh no please don’t cough on me i bite my nails red lines around each appear until 10 bloody nailbeds teacher notices, bandages later i repeat kindergarten at a private...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/not-a-child-prodigy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a74d0e8cc18b11502714339</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Fri, 14 Aug 2026 18:22:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_842da8759a224743b1ad6cc9f183546d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_652,h_489,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[rescuer]]></title><description><![CDATA[in my childhood bedroom falling asleep,  listening to the freight train of my life’s dark and quiet rumblings, i notice the train hasn’t stopped for a while. i’m trapped. my 12 year old brows furrow: i wonder what my spine is trying to tell me by twisting. i roll over, curl legs to chest hip pushing brace downward,  comfortable confinement. twisting offers relief, moments of fresh air, respite from contorting myself in ballet, moments when health becomes  more important than being perfect....]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/rescuer</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710c1af20e59031dfbddf5</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 13 Aug 2026 21:46:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_d849f39c4b64475dbc2fa7cb32e49a49~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[destroyer]]></title><description><![CDATA[battle between 200 years of emotions and an 11-year-old body Your ancestors refused to listen to my ancestors. I told your ancestors they needed rest, to get off the train, to take care of themselves, to understand what happened to them.  They stayed on, rushing, didn’t heed my warnings, said they’d deal with it later. Now they’re gone. You’re here. I must begin this war on behalf of all the bodies who created you. I come to help you release the WEIGHT of their choices,  choices which, now,...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/destroyer</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710c6adb6c19f1c2b9d84d</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 12 Aug 2026 21:47:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_1f5b5775b8b24bb8a8cabf9046d05dac~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_867,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[martyr]]></title><description><![CDATA[blessed are the eldest children,  for they shall protect their siblings from harm blessed are the sensitive for they shall feel every rainstorm and superbloom blessed are they with curved spines,  for they shall tell stories their ancestors couldn’t blessed are the braced for they shall endure low body confidence for the ideal of a straight spine blessed are they with chronic illness  for they shall battle on behalf of bodies resisting themselves blessed are the mentally ill for they shall...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/martyr</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710c49f20e59031dfbde70</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 12 Aug 2026 01:41:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_d13467b61b014967a6bd93c40c96d16f~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_580,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[braced body]]></title><description><![CDATA[at my elementary school library,  routine scoliosis checks are done in 2012  (no longer mandated in California schools due to funding cuts)  my curve is discovered. to children's hospital I go for treatment where bracing is presented as the only option to prevent curve progression and vital organ damage, or surgery. I’m not referred to physical therapy. I visit the office of a child actor’s father, a prosthetics specialist, where I don skin-tight material  and am restrained to a glass table...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/braced-body</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710940f20e59031dfbd788</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 10 Aug 2026 21:35:50 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_596ee82ff2d34af7bdd06321f56015d9~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[dangers of a cheery disposition]]></title><description><![CDATA[looking back on how i got to surgery, you see biopsychosocial indications  that something different than bones is awry: i approach each doctor’s appointment  and discussion of my scoliosis with a cheery, upbeat disposition, not revealing how it wears on me, “a well-nourished female in no acute distress”. i have "rock-hard abs," i joke with peers,  knocking my plastic stomach for their amusement  in my school uniform, tucked in polo shirt and red plaid skirt over the brace, hiding it,...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/cheery-attitude</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710a10db6c19f1c2b9d2a3</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2026 21:37:25 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/20e355_e3f0f4decc9b4d41815b6b66f0b3adad~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_280,h_252,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[quiet destruction]]></title><description><![CDATA[finish line keeps moving, no respite.  life is a marathon i’ve been treating like a sprint i can’t stop moving no matter how hard i try to slow down internally, i break. physically and emotionally caged,  i prick my fingers with safety pins in secret. i can't share my struggles with parents who do so much for me,  why would i be ungrateful? tears stain my journal. i keep bracing.  after a year, i can’t hold it together anymore i quietly act out. a gift for an older friend who doesn’t go to my...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/quiet-destruction</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7a7eadfeb46c460532f9a0</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 09 Aug 2026 01:45:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_7b9ef01ac4084f268cf0f028d3c41bfd~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[bunk tears]]></title><description><![CDATA[an evening at summer choir camp i learn from an email that the artist, surgeon,  doctor who treated me over four years passed away from cancer, just two years after my surgery leaving behind wife, son, &#38; unborn daughter* a pain in my chest arises for the family eerie loss settles when i realize never again will i speak to my spine’s sculptor tears flow under the bunk bed knowing disability doesn’t discriminate]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/bunk-tears</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a74d2377e238b0b8adac773</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Sat, 08 Aug 2026 01:51:37 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_e0d7ee7c1f6f431bb401d9d8f064fa6a~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[ableism]]></title><description><![CDATA[disability itself may not discriminate,but those whose job is to support disabled folks sure have. when trouble brewed after I disclosed my scoliosis, I lost faith in those who preached inclusion  but weaponized students’ self-disclosure. a suggestion that my scoliosis would prevent me  from performing a function of my future career was followed by a recommendation to leave the program. fire started in me and boiled my blood they forgot I am made of titanium throwing their weight at me,  they...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/ableism</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710b0974653e170f8c408f</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Thu, 06 Aug 2026 21:41:33 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_72be2775b4c04cf1a429fbcf01c2a152~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[curvy]]></title><description><![CDATA[adults don’t realize how deeply their words may affect children’s inner lives. growing up, we both had curves for which each of us were scrutinized my scoliometer reading was unacceptable, her body mass index too high after bracing, my number was deemed rescueable while hers sustained a judgmental eye disparaging comments made to the girl so lovely, demanding she try to be healthy and thin like me. if I was so healthy, why was my spine in recovery?  even as children, women’s bodies can’t just...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/curvy</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a74d2812dc76a37da3b6f1f</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 05 Aug 2026 18:29:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_564c5db273a34755b74e64944e8cd000~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[shark bite]]></title><description><![CDATA[a visitor asks how i got the long scar down my back “shark bite”, i say, amused at their face agasp, before explaining my surgery to them some people don’t deserve your story, but some REALLY don’t deserve  to be “protected” from your experiences.  so i wear open backed shirts when i want and no longer hide myself for others’ comfort. when i presented 8 years after surgery with persistent single-sided shoulder pain many doctors didn’t believe the  pain was related to scoliosis. but how would...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/my-scar</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710ae6f20e59031dfbdb03</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Wed, 05 Aug 2026 01:53:46 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_008105c3003d4b88acbc520526a14a7d~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[acts of resistance]]></title><description><![CDATA[with my resistance band, i conquer all i do the same exercises as many older adults: gentle ways to subtly strengthen shoulders  and back, or stretch compressed muscles  to compensate for ways the body has developed asymmetrically. physical therapy has helped me a decade after surgery. i knew i needed PT when i had cervical radiculopathy recurring pins and needles along my shoulderblade finally i find a PT who by serendipity has scoliosis herself who couldn’t believe i was prescribed only a...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/resistance</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7a81582ea6eb4d2c72171f</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Tue, 04 Aug 2026 01:56:51 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_928e3eb926e543c59eeb1a7005a6d49e~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[scoliosis is biopsychosocial]]></title><description><![CDATA[I believe my doctor didn’t make  a mistake in measuring my bone age  when he stopped prescribing my brace. I believe my bones were  skeletally mature,  my spine was done growing, and no curve  should have happened when it did–  if bone immaturity was the reason for my scoliosis. 20 degrees of continuing curvature signaled that my bones  were not the only element involved in creating my scoliosis. perhaps they were responding to a different asymmetry,  not involved in creating the curve at all....]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/biopsychosocial</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a710bae74653e170f8c4218</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Mon, 03 Aug 2026 01:55:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_13fa94028c02461e8366416e4adf8b14~mv2.png/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item><item><title><![CDATA[advice for my teenage self with progressing scoliosis]]></title><description><![CDATA[Know You Have a Choice: You are going through a lot right now. You don’t have to be so brave and strong, but somehow, you are. You are struggling inside while achieving a lot. The most important thing to know is this: YOU HAVE A CHOICE. You get to choose your treatment path and your life right now. It may not feel like it. It may feel like you have to do a million things at once. You will have to fight tooth and nail to choose yourself; this is the work of self-advocacy. Choosing yourself can...]]></description><link>https://www.bandanaphilosophy.com/post/letter-to-my-teenage-self</link><guid isPermaLink="false">6a7a81a2ecb2cb929ff8400d</guid><category><![CDATA[asymmetrical ponderings]]></category><pubDate>Sun, 02 Aug 2026 01:42:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://static.wixstatic.com/media/51e8a3_b0639ebf8646403a958f3d00e9dfc978~mv2.jpg/v1/fit/w_1000,h_1000,al_c,q_80/file.png" length="0" type="image/png"/><dc:creator>sophia surti</dc:creator></item></channel></rss>